CVC Raises Funds to Buy “Durgs”

Presumably because he was beginning to go too long without stirring up a controversy, Chance Von Crank has launched a Kickstarter campaign titled “Help Me Buy Some F*cking Durgs!”

Because of the typo in the title, police are having a difficult time actually finding a way to legally accuse him of collecting the funds for the purpose of buying drugs. Von Crank doesn’t further explain the goal of the fundraiser anywhere else on the page, but he does offer a ludicrous variety of dick-related perks for donors including but not limited to:

“$10 – You get to meet my dick.”
“$15 – You get to take a picture with my dick.”
“$50 – You get a framed 8×10 picture of my dick, autographed by my dick.”
“$100 – If you’re a chick, you get to suck my dick. If you’re a dude, your girlfriend gets to suck my dick.”

In the project’s description section, the controversial Southern Heritage goes on to explain:

“Can I afford them myself? Yeah. Am I gonna spend my own fucking money when I don’t have to? What the fuck do you think?”

The sad part is he’s somehow already raised over $650.



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